Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Peach War 2012: Now I'm PISSED!

I'm fed up. No more Mrs. Kinda Nice Lady. No more "aww they're so cute"...

Break out the over dramatic theme music; the squirrels and I are at WAR!!!

Remember back a couple months ago when we planted our peach tree, Georgia?  Yea, she's awesome and has kind of become a part of our family (as in, I talk to her often when I water her and like to pretend she is a loud, sassy, southern women... because every family NEEDS one of those).
Anyway, in the past 2-3 months, she has been doing EXTREMELY well and its been a joy to watch her buds turn to blooms, turn to little tiny peaches...
sorry for the blurry pic: cell phone
  and grow into medium sized "almost-there" peaches.
So you can imagine my disappointment when these little devils started showing up a lot more often.
Again, cell phone shot - through the glass in the sunroom...
 So far, they have only been taking the smaller peaches, reachable near the fence, and I haven't minded so much (thought process: "aww, they have families to feed").  But when I came out today to check on my girl, I found that she had been savagely ambushed assaulted bombarded attacked by the wild beasts (new thought process: "Mother-****ers have to DIE! Kill their babies!!"
Also being raped by a platoon of ants... Damn animal kingdom army... poor Georgia...
I threw a couple over the fence, but the more and more I checked her out, the worse the body count was...
 All in all, eleven casualties were reported... Rest in Peach...

Then, it hit me. A couple weeks ago my good friend Jenn tweeted me this lovely piece of advise for Rocky (he too has an ongoing squirrel war over the backyard):
 If you can't read it, it says: "To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper.  The cayenne pepper doesnt hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it"

Bingo. Apparently unlike tigers, squirrels hate pepper (bonus points if you get the reference).

Because Chris is a super-chef-man, I knew he would have to have something in the pantry o'spicies, since I'm convinced he keeps every single spice ever made in there.  Low and behold, I found this:
 It's not "pepper" but I'm sure it will work...

So I loaded it up in a spray bottle and mixed it together with some water (**side note: Chris, honey, we need more cayenne sauce**).
 I made sure and give a good spray to the remaining nine (yes, only NINE) peaches and covered Georgia from head to toe.
 All the while, I kept Chris up to date with what was going on...
Looking back, I should have remembered that we live RIGHT across the street from an elementary school, so maybe next time I'll keep the language to a minimum.  I hope the squirrels got the message though...

So there you have it... what is left of my poor Georgia.
So naked without her peaches.  You can't even see the remaining nine (I encouraged them to go into hiding) but they're still hanging on there.

Have you guys had any squirrel issues in the past? Has cayenne pepper/sauce worked for you? I promise to keep you up to date to determine if this strategy works.

-Samm Army
aka. "the Good guys"


  1. Bwahahahahaha!!!!! My dachshunds are in the kitchen now loading up long distance capable spray bottles of Tapatio!!!


    1. Don't forget... yelling like a lunatic is also highly encouraged

  2. Those poor, beautiful peaches. I hope this works, also it would be interesting how the sauce effects the peaches since it seems like they may absorb it faster than the pepper powder.
    Mmmm spicy peach cobbler!!!

    1. Spicy peach cobbler is my ultimate goal... the squirrel war is just a cover...

  3. Squirrels, bunnies and skunks....oh my! I too am fighting the laws of nature and the laws won. :( Underneath my deck is some sort of halfway house for skunks, the bunnies eat everything I put back there and the squirrel I call "Cocky" is making my dog start therapy next week. I hope you have better luck.

    Just don't put out any cinnamon, tigers love it ;)

  4. We don't have squirrel problems (sounds like a pain) but our nectarine tree is covered in a bajillion red fire ants and they are shriveling the leaves. I'm in all out war over here as well!

  5. Good luck!!! We don't have fruit trees but I'm at war with slugs eating my lilies! Coffee grounds work for them so my dad brought me 5 gallon buckets full of used coffee grounds. My dad has fruit trees at his house but I think their two large dogs keep most squirrels away. Good luck in the war!

  6. Wow I'm so glad I found your blog..I too live in Dallas and we just purchased our first home in April 2011 and also like u I made my tiki torches lol ..I've also thought about making a blog..but until then it's great to know there are other young couples out there doing the samething we are😊

  7. You have to let me know if that works. I tried growing tomatoes in pots on the patio and finally covered them with bird netting to try and keep the squirrels out. That didn't work. They just pulled the netting out from under the pots and climbed on in. They would take one bite out of a green tomato and throw it down. I just finally gave up!!!!! Blankety Blank little Buggers!!!!

  8. Thanks for the laugh & good luck!

  9. Oh no! So sorry!! We don't have many squirrels around here. Thank goodness!! I have notice the robins eating our peaches but mainly the ones that have already fallen to the ground. Hope the pepper works!

    Ginger @

  10. YES!!! Squirrels and birdfeeders!!!!! Trying the cayenne pepper idea as we speak!

  11. Found your blog via a friend's pinterest. Enjoying your craftiness, not enjoying your word choice. Insects "raping" your peaches? Call me oversensitive, but I like to reserve the word "rape," for, well, rape. And unless you've been raped, you don't know how awful that word is, or how triggering and demeaning it is to read it used to casually and carelessly. My $0.02.

  12. We had a rock chuck eat most of our garden, we didn't know we had rock chucks here. I wish I would have tried it. We did get the rock chuck but not before he ruined my garden. You have such a fun blog I would love for you to link up with us on my linky party!
    Marcie @


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